There are weeks in your life that you’re not soon to forget. The week when a text comes through to share that a friend from back home, that you just saw in November was killed in a car accident….
Then a day later a text comes through that a friend from back home was killed in a motorcycle accident….
Then a text comes through that a dear running friend, whom you just sang, drank, laughed, and lived life with last Friday was hit by a car while running (thank the Good Lord that he will eventually be OK)…….
So despite my Master Plan to really give my body a break from running, I did what I do.
I loved my daughter until I couldn’t kiss her anymore this week. We both fell asleep snuggled together in our own Friday night Happy Hours and I woke to see her sweet face just as perfect and hopeful as any artist’s masterpiece.
I went to see my guy Steve at Tri-Covery to help me heal and recover physically, so I can get back out and do what really heals and recovers me.
And I ran………..
I laced up my sneakers from Boston, that still have the tag of my daughter on them, and I went out to really Recover.
I have a hair brain theory that when your minutes on this Earth are up, they’re up. And so I went out to make peace with that.
I’m however, also comforted by my beliefs in Angels and Fairies and so I found my Tulley Toes running past the house of a friend that passed years ago now from Breast Cancer and I just started to run……I mean really run. I found that place where I no longer labored on the act, the ache in my legs just didn’t matter, and my breathe rhythm was merely following along with the gasps from crying.
It’s stating the obvious to say that life isn’t fair. I wasn’t crying because I wanted more minutes with these people necessarily, but just to find peace and be thankful that I still had the chance to live.
I wanted to recover from having my heart broken, from feeling sad, from feeling like I’ve been left behind, from feelings of bla bla bla……..and I have a chance to LIVE! I have a chance to know better and to do better. I have a chance to learn from not handling situations well, to doing better the next time.
To really thinking about what is important in life and its probably not anything that is measurable, but how the stories are told about the experiences. It’s not judging myself against others and realizing they probably don’t care much to judge themselves against me. I ran to forgive and get over “its”……. Because really, I shouldn’t waste one single more second of my minutes on anything or anyone that’s not part of making my life better, and in return I make their life better. I ran to remind myself to live in a way that my daughter would be able to say later, ‘My Mama would or wouldn’t do that’ and hopefully the end is just to do what can not explained in any other way than what was right.
I ran past a semi parked along the side of the road and volunteers coming out to fill it full of food. Wow! Yes, I said food. We still live, despite the amazing amount of people only buying certain kinds of food, and ridiculous prices, in a time when some people can’t even buy ANY food! Really!?!? That made me cry too.
And then I recovered, and I ran right down the middle of the road. Not really to not-be-safe, but to just live. To feel free and not restricted to anything. To show people that here I am, in all my pink and my polka dotted socks, and I am going to live. Pay attention to me only in the way that I meant to prove a point that we CAN all share. We have to look out for one another. To be mindful of each other’s feelings, space, circumstances, and to live a little thinking beyond our own selves.
And so, I can’t get any more minutes with some of my friends and family…….but I can still make the most of mine……..and so I will.
Groovy Girls Go……..Making the Most of Our Minutes